[08 Dec 2009|01:07pm] robotrush Absence makes the heart grow fonder YOU have no idea do you? That i cant move on because of YOU. That drawer is sacred. Cant burn it...cant throw it..cant rid it no matter how hard i try. And YOU tell me.... YOU tell me...tell me...tell me... Heartache of the highest degree..... Mungkin engkau tidak tahu Mungkin kau membaca diriku bagaikan satu buku Mungkin aku pembawa berbagai masalah mu. Diam Arini. Dalam diam ada hikmahnya. Dan aku menuggu hikmah menonjolkan dirinya. post comment

Notification System [07 Dec 2009|01:15pm] lj_maintenance [mhwest] [ mood | grumpy ] Hey Guys, Unfortunately with our last release, and its instability, we were forced to roll back releases. Unfortunately in doing so, it would seem that our notification system has been broken somehow. Our engineers are working on this issue as quickly as possible. We hope to have a patch within the next day, so we can deploy our code and fix the notification system at the same time. Please *bear* with us ;) Currently all notifications are being queued up so they can be processed as soon as the fix is pushed and verified to be working correctly. Thank you, 177 comments|post comment

Scream. [08 Dec 2009|01:26am] redd_handed [ mood | crazy ] [ music | Moon River ] TALK TO ME. post comment

You feel me? [08 Dec 2009|12:34am] fakeprada Wanted to blog, and unleashhhhh. But I'm too hungry, I got lazy to piece my all-over-the-place thoughts, and I just don't quite know what I'm feeling. I'll give it a shot though. I'm bitter and angry (cat lady traits, hi!), hurt and insulted. I'm trying to put my pretty damn good apathetic armour on, but it's so heavy. So so heavy. I feel reallyyyyyyyyyy obese too hahaha. My hair's limp, lifeless, dry. My face is ageing, APPARENTLY. I cannot believe I'm affected, this is pathetic, I'm fully aware. Mm hmm, I was too okay about it at the start, maybe that's why. I thought I could handle this shit, but whaddyaknow! I am a girl! I can actually get crazy OTT emotional and dramatic because I can't seem to fucking separate feelings from sticky situations! *GASPS* Who knew how damaging the lack of eye contact or recognition could be? Hahahaha. My bitter medicine, must be. See Huda, *this* is why you gotta be nice and not deliberately ignore people you don't give two fucks about so darn easily. It's kinda like a sick thrill for me I think. Somehow it makes me feel...... in control. Powerful, even. I don't know. Told you I can't make sense right now. Sense out of madness though, maybe? Who knows. Hahahah then there's my fucking huge pride to deal with. HOW HOW HOW. I just couldn't do something I really wanted to do because of my pride! I JUST COULDN'T DO IT. Ugh. And of course, there's those amazingly complex friendships, which I can never put my finger on really, the specific issue. I try, but then I find myself utterly wrong about things, making me REALLY go "wtf?!". I feel so fucking meddled inside, but yet I'm pumped up about holidays still. Just the mere word itself makes me excited. I think I will love my job (currently at Day Two of my induction) and unless we're face to face, don't ask me what's my job cos it's THAT hard to explain. Sales. That can earn me good monehhhh, yeah baby. Leave it at that, shall we? I seriously love meeting new people and getting to know them. People who have no clue who I am/was/whatever. I was an amazing skeptic initially, but honestly? I'm meeting awesome people who are way more sincere than SR kids (in general) ever were. Eat that. ( More rantings. Heh. ) 1 comment|post comment

[05 Dec 2009|05:04pm] robotrush TO DO LIST 1. Job work job work money money money 2. Prom/post prom - anybody else gg? i am scared i feel like a noob coz i will be in a club but i will not touch a drink.no way in hell. 3. Driving license 4. Botanical gardens picnic - RSG? mnfz peepz? 5. Do silly dances and play a fool 6. Kite flying 7. Buy many stilletos and high heels 8. Buy many handbags 9. Movie marathons 10. Baking marathon 11. dance classes 12. professional photography classes. 13.stage makeup classes 14. intern at at a drama/theatre company as backstage crew/floor manager - anybody got connections?i wanna learn how to work the lights,sound system. 15. attempt writing a good cerpen 16. commit to my secretary duties in Al-Fitwah-this is a major contrast to my list so far 17. ngaji ngaji ngaji - i still remember that old lady's words at the giza pyramids in egypt last year. 18. mount faber 19. JB trip with friends 20. play volleyball in sentosaaaa I'll add on when i think its necessary. Anybody wanna help me fulfill any of these todo's.Pls tell me. 9 comments|post comment

LiveJournal Major Notes: LiveJournal: The First Decade, AIDS vgift fundraiser, LJ_Photophile poll! [03 Dec 2009|03:21pm] news [theljstaff] LiveJournal: The First Decade Just in time for holiday shopping, we're thrilled to announce the release of our ten-year anniversary anthology. Published by Blurb.com, the book showcases a decade of extraordinary talent drawn from LiveJournal users around the world. This must-read compilation features stories, memes, photos, comics, editorials, graphic content, and more, including: Excerpts from Oh No They Didn't (a/k/a ohnotheydidnt), the largest community on LiveJournal, covering celebrity gossip, entertainment news, and pop culture A look at post-Katrina New Orleans from the journal of Poppy Z. Brite Gripping narratives, including a poignant reverie on a blind date Photography that spans the globe, ranging from old-fashioned Polaroids to underwater photography Mouthwatering dishes from food_porn What began as a late-night inspiration back in Brad Fitzpatrick's college dorm in 1999 has grown to encompass nearly 25 million users worldwide, with journals and communities covering every conceivable hobby, passion, and topic. To get your copy, please visit the Blurb Bookstore. For updates and entries from book contributors, please join lj_turns10. Tweaks and enhancements You can now ban a user from all of your communities and journals at once. To access this feature, hover over the person's userpic and choose Ban user everywhere from the drop-down menu. Follow LiveJournal on Twitter! Give a little to help a lot! In honor of National AIDS Awareness month, we've added a new charitable vgift. For each red ribbon you purchase for $2.99, we'll donate 100 percent of gross proceeds to IAVI.org (the International AIDS Vaccine Initiative) to support the development and global distribution of an affordable HIV vaccine (we'll cover credit card fees). You can read more about IAVI at lj_cares. While we're on the subject, we raised $740 from our November fundraiser for Love Without Boundaries, which supports emergency healthcare and adoption of Chinese orphans. We thank you for helping us help others. Photos of the week We're back with more incredible pictures from our super-talented LiveJournal photographers. Congratulations to ilya_gorokhov, who is the winner of our very first lj_photophile poll. We hope you'll continue to post, vote, and comment! A gentle request: Please post only one photo at a time and limit size to 350x350 (so images display properly on friends pages). And now, without further ado, get ready to cast your ballot and view more awesome user content after the jump! ( Read more... ) Curtains Thanks, again, for joining us. Stay safe and snug out there! 219 comments|post comment

stress = work [04 Dec 2009|04:24am] loui_sa no stress = no work. ok so i just showered and am waiting for my hair to dry (which is rare cause it dries in 2min) last paper is finally here. I feel a little safe considering I did what I did. shall grab 3 hours of sleep then go kick ass in nanyang audi. :)) yays. jio me out friends. cause by the time i read all your replies I'm FREE. :D post comment

[04 Dec 2009|02:14am] robotrush Need i say how ultra sexy this is. I love 2 couples in SYTYCD. Chelsie and Mark (dynamic ballroom dance couple) .Katee and Joshua (true heart love contemporary couple). A levels are over and I have been celebrating by watching lotsa SYTYCD vidclips.Its awesome.Oh and swinging like nobody's bussiness at PRP with Lynn was exhilarating pls.Screaming away 'A LEVELS ARE OVER AFTER 3 FRIGGING YEARS' .However i SHOULD not rejoice so much because theres results still. Boo. Oh and i need a job.If i dont have one.Jgn harap saya boleh go out on dates please. More BOO. post comment

5.50 [03 Dec 2009|05:57am] loui_sa Good morning. I'm half exhausted in front of my awesome new toy brought home from sitex. :D FINALLY changed my laptop after 3 years. YESSSS. anw I'm too excited now because my exams end in about 30 hours. This torturous sem will finally be over. OMG. but because i'm too excited I cant sleep. Nor study. -.- I havent started on friday's paper since reading it about 3 weeks back. So I should feel a littler stressed. BUT I JUST WANT THIS TO BE OVER. you know that feeling. i mean. perseverance has its part. you know like doing your best and keep trying. tahan the long exams and all. but i was way past that point last week. this is even more tiring than A's no joke. so I'm not really sure what time I want to wake up so that i have time to study. At the same time to be able to fall asleep by say 1am later so that i get sleep. hall mate just jio-ed breakfast in about 1 hour. aka 7am+ I feel like eating bee hoon haha. damn if only can 5 had curry in the morning to go along. oh and can 4's officially gone. I'll miss calling my food and like all the awesome food there. didnt really figure why people didnt like. but oh well. hopefully the replacement's good. so i think i;m going to try read my notes. This is one module I think can score. So i REALLY should get started. Watching private practice, trauma shall continue after friday hopefully. have a good day :) 5 comments|post comment

MogileFS Maintenance [02 Dec 2009|12:18pm] lj_maintenance [mhwest] [ mood | dirty ] [ music | Bad Religion - Stranger Than Fiction ] **EDIT Thu Dec 3 23:24:15 UTC 2009 ** Hey Everyone, we are about to run the last alter job that we need to on our database servers. This will effect userpics / scrapbook / vgift images for the next few hours. Have no fear, your images aren't lost, there is just a really intensive process running on the servers which store the information for mogilefs. Thank you for your understanding and all the LJ love... Hey LJers, I just wanted to let you all know that we are going to be performing some mogilefs maintenance over the next few days. We will be upgrading our current version to latest stable as well as changing some db config information to better handle the amount of files we are currently hosting. This shouldn't cause a big impact on site stability, but you may see some minor delays with userpic / scrapbook images appearing or other requests associated with our mogilefs. We would love to not have that happen, but unfortunately with some of the steps we need to take we have to cause a delay with images. I figured this was a better solution than taking down all of LiveJournal because well lets face it, we all need our daily LJ fix ;) Thanks, 131 comments|post comment

[02 Dec 2009|10:01pm] robotrush I love this dance.Love it. A simple story.He works..so hard.Leaving her alone most times and all she wants is to have him by her side to spend time.He takes her heart away from her and shes left alone to wait for him to come back home.Lyrical hip hop at its most down to earth true unfolding.I love the part where she clings on to him and hugs him so tight but he just shimmy her away.And i love the breakdown of the song where they popped.I envy these dancers.Envy them. 2 comments|post comment

All the fish in the sea are stupid anyway [02 Dec 2009|01:55pm] redd_handed [ mood | energetic ] He has no idea. Not knowing someone well, can make you never get over them. The truth is, I don’t know him that well. What we had was short, it was over before I had a chance to see whether we were really good together, whether he was right for me. So all this time, even while I’ve had relationships with so many other guys, I always compare the new boys to one boy who I barely even knew, and they all fall short. Because his memory is so perfect, it’s so indestructible because it’s unfinished. I didn’t have time to discover his flaws, the little quirks that annoy, the arguments that break a couple a part. I didn’t give him a chance to show me that side of himself. All I have are the memories of that new, excited feeling. Of butterflies every time his fingers brushed my arm, of electric sparks every time we kissed, because it was so new, and unexpected and amazing. I have idealized this boy to the point where he is perfect in my eyes, and because of that, I can’t be satisfied with anyone else. But I can’t go back to him either, I cut off all ties, made it clear I never wanted to talk to him. He doesn’t know I think about him every day. He probably thinks he was completely insignificant, because I lied, and told him that he was. I swore I couldn’t care less. He has no idea. And I have no idea what it would be like to really be with him, have a real relationship with him, and I have to live with the fact that it is completely my fault. For being so proud, and so presumptuous to think I would get over him in two minutes. I never thought I’d hold on this long, to a ghost of a person. To an illusion of a person, that isn’t very likely a true reflection of him anyway. And my advice to anyone reading this is, don’t let opportunities pass you by. Don’t dismiss people without thinking about how you may feel later. Don’t end something great, just because you think it would be too inconvenient to your life to let it continue. The truth is, everyone needs closure. Even if you do try something, and it’s difficult, and it ends, at least you know you tried. At least you know it was really the right decision to end it. You tried, and you failed. That’s okay, that’s something you’ll get over. But wondering, always wondering how it would have went if you had just let it happen, that’s torture. It’s the “what ifs” that keep me up at night. And the fact that he was strong enough to want me, to want to put up a fight for me, and I wasn’t strong enough to fight for him. And for the way I feel now, I have only myself to blame. - Anonymous credits to leloveimage.blogspot.com She puts my thoughts/feelings into words, those that have accumulated since i met him. It used to be really difficult to brush those feelings away, they haunted me through the day. Whether i was studying, partying, or sleeping, they wouldn't let me go. Slowly but surely, it got easier to get by those feelings. But was it that those feelings were slowly diminishing? They might have been less persistent in overpowering my thoughts but they were always ready to kill joy. It could have been a picture, a movie, a small kid that looked so much like him, familiar places, words, similar situations, anything. That could simply drown me in those feelings i felt almost 2 years ago. But i hate to think of it, because i can't even do something about it if i wanted to. This is probably not the person i'm supposed to be thinking of now, with all the messy issues on hand. But i go back to him somehow, all the time, i think its the ambiguity that i find comfort in. Well who's complaining right? -MLM 8 comments|post comment

Way back then [01 Dec 2009|05:01am] loui_sa Cuz we lost it all Nothing lasts forever I'm sorry I can't be Perfect Now it's just too late And we can't go back I'm sorry I can't be Perfect I try not to think About the pain I feel inside Did you know you used to be My hero? All the days You spent with me Now seem so far away And it feels like you don't Care anymore And now I try hard to make it I just want to make you proud I'm never gonna be good Enough for you I can't stand another fight And nothing's alright I'm not sure many of you know me back then. I remember this song very deeply though. etched in the days I still used blogspot. Oh those days. Still hits a soft spot. Well actually thats an understatement. Oh well. 3 comments|post comment

[30 Nov 2009|01:52am] robotrush escapism Its only for individuals like me who seek a different world to transform into.Be it into the best of myself or my worst. Go on, ask me why i love music,the arts,dancing (be it traditional malay dance or contemporary or just freestyle mix ups). Go on, ask me why i am so emotional heavy or burdening. Go on, ask me why i can go so deep or go so shallow Maybe its because hiding from the world gets tiring. You want to know the real me? See me perform, see me on stage. Thats as raw as i can give without so much inhibition. A friend ever said "Rin, i see your thoughts and your life through the play you stage on that stage" Observant no? I know those who read my posts would agree that i am very cryptic.Yes i am.Some say its mysterious.Some say it cheem.Some think im just emo giler.Some think im mentally unsound (yes i ever had an anonymous comment from some soul that i sound like i need psychiatric help.HAH) Its simple.If i were to bare my soul here.What soul would i have left?To quote this same friend he said to me " its like a box of sweets.You keep giving away the sweets,you're left with nothing at the end.The box becomes worthless" Ms Beverly Pink was right, no human on earth writes or types or scribbles or doodles without giving a moment of contemplation or thought.There are so many types when i rant/rave/type something so UBER DOOPER LONG in this white box only to delete it.But its gonna be sometime till i totally stop blogging/eljaying. and to be honest i get crytic when it comes to untangling my mind in affairs of heart.so im sorry if those who read just get more tangled up instead.hurhur. so now? i sing: noona noona replay...baby i need you..replay replay and dance to the heartsoothing rhytem and beat post comment

Because Karma is Such a Bitch (The tales of Philip (And His Wife and Daughters) and Herman Continue) [28 Nov 2009|12:07am] streakedred 1) I woke up at 5 am because I had the most ridiculous nightmare ever. The main bulk of it revolved around an Ah Beng in a silver Mercedes Benz who wouldn't budge from the parking spot right outside my place. He was trying to find his way into our house and so none of us could leave the house alone unless my father drove us out. It was quite creepy because he wouldn't use force to get his way in, but he'd just be really persistent in trying to persuade us to let him in. We didn't report him to the police because we were afraid he would retaliate in some epic violent manner. That was the creepy bit. The dream got really ridiculous towards the end when I suddenly realised that *drum roll* my father could take action against the Ah Beng for private nuisance. (WTF?!) "Pang XX v Chao Ah Beng" Never mind that because the dream concluded with the head notes of the case in .pdf format flashing before my very eyes. At this point, I had a 'meta-dream' experience and I really went: WTF. This looks like the stuff I've been staring at all day. And then I woke up freaked out by said stalker and yet being in utter disbelief as to what I dreamed about. 2) And I say that Karma is a bitch because I think that this is retribution for me and my incessant judging. I judge people whenever they can't.stop.making.references.to.cases.or.anything.law-related whenever they're NOT in a lesson. I guess school will haunt me even if I do my utmost to escape. 3) That said, I also woke up with a sore arm because I slept on my side weirdly. 4) I had steamboat for dinner, and for the first time in my life, I didn't over-eat. We had epic win dinner conversations. It was a showdown between Philip and Anne. My sister commented that my mother was becoming the socialite of the neighbourhood because she's always out with this neighbour, or that neighbour and so on and so forth. My mother commented that it was a good thing because this means that she would always be in the know about things happening around in the estate. Then she made a snide remark about my father being such a meek and quiet man and therefore the need for her to befriend everyone else. Philip 0 Anne 1 My father made a swipe back. "That's because I'm selective about my friends! I'm not like you!" Philip 1 Anne 1 My mother retaliated. "Oh please. Your friends?! Have you seen them?!" Philip 1 Anne 2 My parents, dear friends, my parents. 5) My mother was being evil again. My father complained about having to put up the Christmas tree again. He said that he was growing old and therefore he would bestow me and my sisters with the duty of putting it up. My sister very happily commented that she'd be more than glad to delegate all the manual work to me whilst she shouted instructions. My mother commented that it would be an even more awesome idea if my sister could get her boyfriend over to do it, and then she could order him around like she orders my father around while he painfully shifts it from one corner to another. 6) That's it my friends. That's the end of my boring day. I've been staying home so much and I miss the smell of a shopping mall. But it's okay because I arranged to have my eyebrows done two days before my exam and so I will find myself in town on Wednesday. Student win : ) My other sister criticised me for being a terrific bum. Apparently I just sit around and wait for my lunch everyday. What else can I do?! Oh yeah, and in my dream, Herman escaped into the garden and none of us could get him because of Mr Chao Ah Beng. Oh Herman. : ( 2 comments|post comment

Hello (: [27 Nov 2009|09:02pm] fakeprada Hi, I am currently damn disgusted with you. Maybe it's the BOTH of you, I can't be sure. I just think it's pathetic and lame how you only seem to "showcase" your pretty friends and how you pathetically cover your face at all the appropriate places because.... hahahaha you're ugly. Sorry, merciless. Not like you'll even know this is meant for you ANYWAY! You, my dear, are one spineless girl. You can't even stand up for yourself. Breaking your back to accomodate to "friends"? Fake. It's all so fucking fake. I don't know how you get up each day thinking you're doing something fulfilling. I'm not making sense, because I am so angry. I resort to low shots like your ugly face because I am angry. It's low, but hey honey, it's the truth. Just like how I need to lose weight. (: I could rant on and on, but I can't be as lame as you, now can I? Photoshop has GOT to be your best friend or something, eh? I'll bet you need all the help you can get. Do something about your language man. I'm not the world's greatest writer, but your grammatical errors are just... whoa. Speechless. I'd say do something about that face, but I think that'd be too expensive. So don't bother. (: I'm just glad my friends are my friends cos yours are just... nevermind. It'd be at least another 2 paragraphs to address that. Maybe you're a nice person, but too god damn whiny for your own good. Just stop it. Having pretty friends, doesn't exactly help your cause yknow. You're a nuisance. You're faker than you are nice, so there you go. Have a good life. (: PS: Let's see who gets affected by this post. I mean, it speaks a bit if you are, yknow. ;) 10 comments|post comment

i have a thing for well dressed men [27 Nov 2009|12:23pm] robotrush Not saying that im a fashionista or anywhere close to being a fashion guru or a fashion addict or a whatever.But i just cant help but admire well dressed men.Friends who know me would know that i like mens clothing A LOT.I enby how men have really good tailoring and structure to their clothes but yet keep it simple.Though some men prefer gg extremely off tangent to be vavavoom. If you ask me what is essential for a man so that he looks good all the time? A good timepiece - i love it when a guy wears a chrono watch.Something about a chrono watch that adds an edge. TAG HEUR carerra chrono watch i love this. I'd wear it myself if i can ever afford one pls.unfortunately it costs thousands OMEGA planet ocean this isnt a chrono watch but like omg.look at the fine orange thread detail!and the hands of the watch has like sharp spears! chet.cannot take it man.of cours ethe price tag is a few thousand smackaroos. ooo and omgosh i searched for ladies chrono watches.and they're just as nice! technomarine UF6 My ultimate favourite! alarh....wish i was rich man.i want i want.Only way for me to afford such pretty things is that i marry anak Datuk from Brunei or something. LOLS 1 comment|post comment

Pain in the ass [26 Nov 2009|10:47am] loui_sa This is by far one of the most painful and tiring exams. Because it just has to stretch through so long. I start one of the earliest. And I end one of the latest. Pain in my ass man. I mean. appreciate that I have days in between to just rest and study. But its taking wayy too long yo! physically of cause more rest. but mentally its just drainingggg. sigh. so I'm here half asleep. trying to cram more equations in my head. cmon cmon make this quick. want to kill might as well kill me now. than make me study so much and die anyway. that always seems to be the uni papers. through o's a's I feel i'm always able to gauge my grade when invigilator says pens down. but just not with uni. damn bell curve i say. I dont like the feeling of walking out not knowing my grade. Its. mindfucking. really. haha. okay i'm angsty and tired. I'm going to rest. and hopefully not over rest for my 1pm paper. post comment

LiveJournal Major Notes: Security, Mobile, Facebook, Writer's Block, and Notes [25 Nov 2009|02:07pm] news [theljstaff] Tweaks and enhancements In order to improve site security, we've temporarily suspended the ability to change passwords for old email addresses that haven't been used for over six months. For further information and support, please visit our customer care page. We've launched a new mobile site with an enhanced UI at m.livejournal.com. View spotlights, post to your journal, read and post to friends pages, and more, no matter where you roam! Please let us know what you think, since this will eventually replace our existing mobile interface. You can update your mobile preferences on your account page. We've upgraded from Beacon to Facebook Connect to improve dual posting. If you've already signed up for Facebook Beacon, you're good to go. If you wish to update your Facebook Connect setting, visit Account Privacy settings and scroll down to the option labeled: "Send information about my updates to Facebook." You can choose Always or Ask each time. Remember to save (on the bottom left corner of the page). To learn more, check out FAQ 249. While we're on the subject, if you happen to be visiting that side of town, please join our Facebook fan page for a touch of home away from home. You'll now receive the Writer's Block Question of the Day in the body of email notifications. To sign up for Writer's Block notifications, visit writersblock and choose the Watch Community option. Next, update your Writer's Block notification settings by checking the box to the right of "Someone posts a new entry to writersblock." Paid and permanent users can now view, add, and edit Notes of commenters. Notes will appear beside the username of comment posters (instead of stars) on S1-themed comment pages. Send some lovin' thanks to your friends with our holiday vgifts! Photos of the week We're so delighted with the immense talent of our growing, global lj_photophile community that we've decided to introduce a poll. Each week, we'll choose a half-dozen photos (based on user comments and staff feedback) and ask you to select a photo of the week. The winning photo will be announced in the next newsletter. If possible, please limit photo size to 350x350 to ensure that images display properly on friends pages. We want to thank you again (and again!) for sharing your passion. Check out this week's photo poll and more fantastic user content after the jump! ( Read more... ) Curtains Thanks for joining us. To our American friends, have a fantastic Thanksgiving. To all of our international neighbors, we'll eat a little extra for you! 159 comments|post comment

[26 Nov 2009|01:26am] robotrush serenade her and make her feel beautiful 5 comments|post comment

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